Milestones: First Steps

Ryan took his first legitimate steps right during when I was trying to take his 10 month pictures! He was taking 2-3 at a time before I started taking a video of it, so this is as good as we've got right now.

10 Months

Overall...

Oh my goodness has this been a busy past month! You can tell we've had too much Christmas when your preschoolers both ask, "Can Christmas be over now?" haha We did have a great time celebrating with family, though, and are so glad we had the chance to see everyone!

Overall, though, the month has gone well. We're all a little stir crazy with such a cold start to 2017 and ready to go on vacation in about 3 weeks to (it had sure as heck better be) sunny San Diego! I'm a little nervous about how that will go with Ryan's newfound skill: taking steps here and there. A 4 hour flight could prove to be really "fun". But really, anything to get away from these sub-zero temps right now. Brrrr!!!

How Baby is Doing

Ryan is such a sweet baby boy, and this in spite of all the craziness surrounding Christmas as well as a lot of teething, he is doing exceptionally well!

We are finally down to him only waking up ONCE in the night for a bottle (can anyone say "HALLELUJAH!"?), which leaves us all significantly happier as a whole.

He now has five teeth: his two top ones as well as three on the bottom, and we know it probably won't be long before he has a few more through, as he has the telltale diapers and chomping on everything in sight going on.

He knows exactly where the action is, and knows how to find where everyone is. He always knows where Mama is, and although we went through some separation anxiety at the beginning of this month, the only time he fusses when I leave is if I leave him somewhere he can't get to me if he wants to. Most of the time he's content as long as he knows I'm not behind a closed door or he isn't stuck in his crib or behind a baby gate.

Ryan is slowly transitioning to dropping the third nap in the evenings, but still seems to take entirely way too long to go down to bed at night. Some nights (okay, most nights) he doesn't go to sleep until about 9:30pm. This has been a frustrating development, as it means we have to take him down to help put his big brothers to bed, and that just drags things out down there, as they would rather play with Ryan than listen to stories.

Ryan loves to walk while holding on to everyones' hands. Cashel mostly likes to carry him around places, but Kendrick will hold onto his hands and walk behind him while he walks, and he gets such a kick out of that. He stands all the time anymore, but has only just started to take a few steps before he falls down. I'm still hoping we don't have a walker until his birthday at least, but it's not looking promising that he'll wait until then.

It's hard to believe that this little man will be a year in just two short months. We've got a busy next couple months ahead, including big brother Cashel's 5th birthday, and Ryan's first trip in an airplane for a family vacation to San Diego!

Ryan is starting to be a little stinker just since Christmas. He really likes to play peek a boo and wants me to chase him around. He'll crawl a little ways away, then turn around and look at me to see if I'm looking. If I am, he squeals loudly and then turns around and keeps on going. He especially loves it if I say, "No, no, buddy!" and the squeal gets louder and he laughs. It's really kinda adorable right now, but I have a feeling my giggles aren't helping set the right precedent haha

Ryan is a little human garbage compactor these days: He'll eat anything presented to him no matter what it is. Even if he doesn't like, it he just shakes it off and tries it again. He eats better than his 3 and (almost) 5 year old brothers many nights. We give him about the same amount of food as we have in the past, the difference is that while in the past, about 50% of it ended up on the floor and about 25% of it ended up either on his tummy or under his seat, now about 80% of it ends up in his tummy. He especially likes anything with meat in it - and LOVES diced up turkey smoked sausage, ground beef, shredded turkey or chicken, and anything with any sort of sauce. He also loves pretty much all cooked veggies - especially carrots and green beans. It's fun to have such a great eater! I'm hoping he's the ONE kid who actually skips the picky toddler stage. If there's anything you DON'T want this kid to eat, you've got to go to great lengths to keep it out of his reach, because if there's a way to get at it, he'll find it. (Noted from incident pertaining to Christmas cookies haha)

We have done a lot of traveling and stayed in two hotels this month, and Ryan has done remarkably well through all of it! We'll be doing this again in a couple weeks for Cashel's birthday weekend in Sioux Falls, and then a week and a half later when we go to San Diego for 5 days. We're hoping he turns into a good little traveler, as we just love to get away in the winter for a bit.

How Mama is Doing

I'm exhausted most of the time, even after these significantly better nights of sleep. I'm so fortunate that Ryan is such an easy, sweet little baby boy. I'm also fortunate that he only wakes up once a night these days.

I absolutely love the way Ryan's little face lights up when I smile at him. I do not absolutely love the way he wakes me up for his 3am bottle with a hard slap in the face and pulling my hair, though. lol He loves to grab my hair and either eat it or sniff it when he's tired or just feeling overwhelmed. I'm shocked I have so much of my hair left, truthfully!

We joined a smaller local gym in our hospital for a 3 month weight down challenge, which I hope will help us beat these winter blues. I mostly joined it just so I could keep moving, but wouldn't complain if I dropped a few pounds on top of it. I just miss our old gym that was so wide open with lots of room for free weights and a separate room to spread out and not bump into people. I may end up joining that one again for a year after I'm done with this challenge, but time will tell.

How Daddy is Doing

Daddy just absolutely loves little Ryan and has so much fun tickling him and picking on him. Ryan loves to crawl all over Daddy before bed at night, and likes to snuggle with him every night around 5:30pm while I'm getting supper ready and he's ready for a cat nap.

I'm rooting for him to win the weight down challenge we joined at the gym, and he seems a little more motivated now that I told him the prize is a $100 gift card to Scheel's. :) I think he secretly enjoys moving again, even if we're both so sluggish that a "workout" for us is nowhere near what it used to be. We'll get back there, though, I feel confident ;)

Mark has been staying busy this winter with Wednesday night basketball at the high school, where a fun group of guys gathers to play a few games, although my only request with this is that he makes it home by bedtime, so he only goes for an hour now instead of two like he used to. It's a good compromise for us, so that he still gets to go, and I don't come unglued at bedtime after picking up Cashel from AWANA.

How Big Brothers are Doing

Ryan is starting to roll with the punches with big brothers these days, and hardly fusses when they drag him around anymore. Kendrick is just starting to really come into the realization that Ryan is actually kinda a fun little dude. The two haven't really been super close (nothing like Cashel and Ryan) until just this past month. Both Cashel and Kendrick cannot WAIT for Ryan to start walking and running after them.

Cashel is constantly telling us every.single.time. Ryan stands on his own, and he comes completely unglued excited when he takes a step or two. It's cute ;) But Cashel (and Kendrick) both just cannot leave the poor kid alone! I'm constantly telling them to put Ryan down and to just let him get where he wants to go by himself. Cashel has this thing about putting him up on higher surfaces (couches, beds, chairs) and then walking away, so we have to really watch out for him, as he hasn't quite figured out how to get down yet without head planting. We're still trying to figure out how he hasn't fallen yet, but somehow we are always there to catch him.

We're very ready for winter to pass so we can get back outside again! This winter, although it had a later start than usual, has been VERY cold so far, and it's hard to take little kids out to play when it's below 20 degrees and windy. We haven't had very much snow, either, and none of it has really been great for packing, so they're antsy to build a snowman, but we haven't been able to.

Life with 3 little boys (especially with the youngest entering the busiest years of toddlerdom) is hectic and chaotic and crazy a lot of the time. Cashel is just getting to the age where he gets annoyed when people don't do things that make sense (of course, he is absolved from this judgement haha). He will be, unfortunately, in for a long ride through all these younger siblings and the 18 months-age 4 stage.

The boys really do all love each other, but I think it's safe to say that both older boys seem to have better relationships with Ryan than they appear to with each other. I know C and K love each other, but they're just at the age where most of the time they annoy each other. Hoping this changes in the next year :)

9 Months

Overall...

We've done a complete 180 in the past month, Praise Jesus! Last month, I was ready to throw in the towel with life. The boys were so naughty and crazy, Ryan was waking 3-5 times a night to eat, my milk supply was plummeting like crazy, and Mark was in the field a LOT helping with harvest, and I was just so weary after busy days at work and insane nights at home.

Mark got a taste of what it was like for me during harvest when I had to take an unexpected trip to Juarez, Mexico at our sister plant for work for three days, and I think we can both appreciate each others' stances a little more: I couldn't wait to be home, and he couldn't wait for me to be home. As a result of this trip, we took the opportunity to finally wean Ryan from nursing, which went VERY smoothly. I pumped a few times while I was gone, and Ryan learned to wake up only once a night! Sleep after that has been SIGNIFICANTLY better!

This past month has been busy, but full of fun family activities busy, which is significantly better than busy with things we aren't that excited about doing. We celebrated Thanksgiving, put up the Christmas tree and decorated, Ryan went to his first movie with all of us as a family (Angry Birds), and he got to meet Santa twice. (We joke that he asked for his two front teeth).

How Baby is Doing

Oh my goodness is Ryan a sweet little guy. That being said, this has been a rough month for him. He has spent the last three weeks in the throws of teething, with a measly one tooth to show for it (so far). I was hoping that with as sleepless as our nights have been, the small amounts he eats, and his general disposition being so sad that we'd have more to show than that. We're going to try the chiropractor on Tuesday to see if he can help with something, anyways. I've got a bit of an inkling that it might be an ear infection.

Aside from that, however, this kid is thriving like crazy! He's pushing stuff around with a lot more gusto, standing on his own for between 1-5 seconds at a time, and loves to babble on and on about all sorts of things. He says Mama and Dada (although it's more like "Mama mama mama mama" and "Dadadadada") and otherwise the rest isn't really recognizable right now.

Whether our scale is accurate or not, I can't vouch (I'd like to believe it weighs very heavy haha), but for what it's worth, Mark put him on the scale today and he weighs 22.8lbs now. He's really really good at picking up even the smallest of small scraps off the floor, and you'd be shocked at how quickly things can get in his mouth.

When he is snuggling, he has to be holding onto (and sometimes tugging at) my hair, and he's still as obsessed with those two fingers as ever.

He is a BIG fan of food these days, and while I sometimes can stick a spoonful of food in his mouth if he's REALLY hungry, he much prefers to feed himself finger food, so I cut up food for him a lot, and we just hope that some of it makes it in his mouth. A lot of it he just chews up and spits back out. He gags a lot, but by baby #3, we're used to that. We're always watching him closely, and keep the food chopped small. He LOVES it, though! His favorites are peas, green beans, carrots and corn. He will eat mashed potatoes occasionally, and if he's really hungry and having a hard time eating whatever we're eating, and if I hold his hands back and shove that first spoonful in so he gets a taste, he'll eat a pouch of sweet potatoes or peas like a champ. We also have to use the hold his hands back maneuver if he needs some Tylenol to sleep on account of the teething, but the kid has a gag reflex like no other, and we've been very unsuccessful at getting him to keep it down.

He's doing pretty good with the Christmas tree as of right now, which is great! He occasionally will go over and pat on the presents, but for the most part just leaves them alone.

We get this look a lot, which cracks me up :)

He got to meet Santa twice this month, and both times he did just great!

We're really hoping for a little better regular sleep this month, and we're excited to finally let him rip into some presents (although I highly doubt his big brothers will allow much of that haha). Fun times to come, we're sure! I just hope he can hold off at least another month or two before he starts venturing into walking territory.

How Mama is Doing

This has been one heck of a whirlwind month for me! We started the month coming off harvest, which was great, but it's always an adjustment getting back into the swing of things once Mark is around more. We love having him with us, but our schedule gets a little wonky, and bedtime seems to go later, which we're just now getting under control, thankfully!

We hosted our annual Friends-giving the Saturday before Thanksgiving, and then hosted Thanksgiving with Mark's Mom on the day, so it was a lot of "clean the house a lot and cook a lot", which was followed immediately by an unexpected 3-day trip to El Paso, Texas for work, in which I spent 2 full days at our plant in Juarez, Mexico. This was the longest I have ever been away from my boys, and to say it was hard was an understatement. I slept horrible the whole time, and couldn't wait to get back home.

We used this opportunity to finally wean Ryan off whatever milk I was producing still (which hadn't been much), and that transition has gone pretty flawlessly. It was really hard for me to embrace the super quick cutoff there, but he doesn't seem to have skipped a beat.

Weight-wise, I'm struggling horribly this month. The stress from harvest coupled with the stress from the beginning of this past month coupled with the stress of another situation I can't even delve into here, and I tell ya what: Comfort eating has become a huge crutch. I've got to get it together, and I know it, and I'm working on it. I don't enjoy feeling so thick in the middle, nor does Mark, and so we're really wanting to kick it into gear here. We're just kinda waiting for that wave of motivation that hasn't been kicking us in the butt just yet. I'm at about 6lbs above pre-pregnancy weight, which is a good 14lbs above my lowest weight postpartum. So yeah...not feeling great about that.

How Daddy is Doing

Daddy is really enjoying the age that Ryan is at right now. He loves to snuggle and watch TV with him, but also loves to nuzzle his head into Ryan's belly and get some huge squawks out of him :)

We're both feeling the effects of perhaps a little too much home cooking lately - especially with the drastic decrease in physical activity with the winter weather moving in. We keep talking about re-joining our gym, but haven't done anything about that just yet.

He was pretty worried about being on his own with all three boys for three entire nights, and having to get them all ready for three mornings before work. He did a GREAT job, however, and was fortunate to be able to tackle the weaning process with Ryan, which left him up only once in the night to feed him. I think he'd still say he has no desire to repeat that again haha :)

I don't have nearly as many pictures of the boys with Daddy this month, which I hope to remedy in the coming month! There are most certainly photo-worthy moments around here, I just haven't been grabbing the camera.

He has been B-U-S-Y this month at work, and that isn't going to be settling down in the near future. He has two BIG projects coming up in the new year, so we're just hanging on until hopefully February, and then we're toying with a trip to San Diego with the boys once things have calmed a bit.

How Big Brothers are Doing

We're having a big time problem with his big brothers always picking him up. I'm at the point where I can trust Cashel to do it if he's just carrying him across the room, but definitely not Kendrick, and we had one instance where Cashel actually carried Ryan DOWN THE STAIRS and I about lost it!

These guys are just coming alive together with the realization that Ryan can actually be pretty fun at this age. Their minds will be blown when he starts walking and getting into ALLLLLL of their things at rapid pace. That's when the fun will surely begin haha

One thing is for sure: Christmas is going to be LOUD this year: I just have a feeling haha :)

Milestones: Standing Without Holding On (9 Months)

This has been going on for about a week now, but Ryan is getting really skilled at standing without holding on to anything at this point. He likes to practice ALLLL the time and gets super excited when he does it. He has even taken a step towards me a time or two. I'm equal parts excited about it and terrified that we're going to have a walker in the next month.

We still have to put him in place first (or he has to be holding onto something to start), so he isn't getting up on his own just yet, but he'll stand in place for a good 5-10 seconds at this point.

8 Months

Overall...

This has been the roughest month so far with three kiddos, if I'm being honest. It has been tough. I've been utterly exhausted and emotional, and just plain weary. Mark has been gone a significant chunk of the month between farming and hunting, and there have been exactly two days of the past four weekends where he has been home with us. We miss him, and I need him, and it's REALLY hard on all of us when he's not there. We go out to visit him at the farm so the boys can have tractor or combine rides, but it's not the same.

As you can see by the lengthy list of highlights from the past month, I've been working hard to come up with activities to enjoy these past few weeks of beautiful weather before winter sets in. However, with all that busy-ness comes the sheer exhaustion of keeping up with 3 busy little boys while doing all the things. Add in some moderately awful sleep deprivation due to a 3 year old with eczema and nightmare issues and a teething baby, and this Mama needs more Jesus than I take the time for on the average day. Jesus and coffee.

But the weather has been SOOOOO very kind to us, so it has been wonderful (pre daylight savings time, anyway) to be able to get outside in the evenings for 2-3 hours and just enjoy the gorgeous temps and fall colors before the inevitable winter sets in. It's what keeps me going and keeps us outside right now.

Highlights of this past month include (not many recaps here, sorry - this month has been too busy):

1. Lots and lots of playing in the leaves
2. A Day Trip to Humboldt (October 15) (recap here)
3. Celebrating Grandpa's 68th Birthday (October 18)
4. Pumpkin Carving (October 27)
5. Celebrating Mama's 35th Birthday (October 28) (recap here)
6. Schwalbach Fun Festival (October 29) (recap here)
7. Halloween Trail at Pioneer Village (October 29)
8. Trick or Treating (October 31) (recap here)
9. FINALLY getting Kendrick potty trained!!
10. So many visits to the farm for Harvest
11. Lots of time at different parks.
12. Numerous walks around Wolf Lake
13. A fun day trip to Sioux Falls with the boys to the Zoo
14. Two weekends full of hunting for Daddy

How Baby is Doing

It's sad that babies don't have pause buttons :( This kid is growing faster than this reminiscent Mama can handle right now. I remember my first harvest with just Cashel and how tired I was, and right now that just makes me want to laugh so hard I cry. These are rough days, these up at 5am and go-go-go all day with busy, non-napping boys.

Sleep is still really tough. I'm really tired all the time, even if I do seem to get a better-than-average night of sleep. Average, however, is in 90 minute chunks (if I'm lucky). Bedtime is a crapshoot these days as well. I used to be able to put him down between 7:30 and 8pm and know he'd be good until his "dream feed". However, now it's more like 8:30, and we have to take him down with us to put his big brothers to bed or else he just sits in his crib and screams. He always wakes up between 10 and 10:30 to eat, then I usually see him at 12:30am, 2:30am, 4:30am and 5:30am. Again.

Soooo...we're doing more supplementing. On top of the 1-2 bottles of formula he gets at daycare each day, which we started last month, depending on how much I was able to pump the prior day, as of last night, we're also having to do one 6oz bottle of formula before bed.

Ryan is definitely growing, up to 27.5 inches tall and 21lbs 13oz (approximately), but he's still in the same size everything from last month: size 3 diapers, 12 month pants, and 18 month pjs and tops. The 18 month stuff still is a little big on him, but he's definitely much too long in the torso for 12 month pjs and tops - at least the ones with snaps at the crotch.

As you can see from the above picture, EVERYTHING goes in this kid's mouth. This is my first baby who flat out refused a binky, so I know it's going to be a bigger challenge than we've dealt with in the past.

Ryan is not a big fan of baby food at ALL, but LOVES people food. He gobbles up veggies really well, and has an excellent pincer grasp. He doesn't mind getting messy, but without me feeding him on a spoon, he doesn't get much in his mouth, really.

Ryan loves to be right in the middle of things, and he loves to make lots of noise. He is SOOOOO on the verge of taking off walking, and loves to hobble along behind the walker on the carpet downstairs (he can't do it upstairs on the hard wood floors because it's too slippery and moves too quickly). He's SO proud of himself and it's adorable! Since we don't use the walker upstairs, he will push around this little play thing to get where he wants to go, and he just squawks super loud when he does it, as he's so excited. It's adorable :)

We've been in the thick of teething the past week or so, which has been rough. You can see his two teeth that he has right now the best in this picture right here. The one on his left actually is chipped on top, which is strange, as it was like that when it popped through already. It also seems like those two teeth are a little off centered to me, but maybe I'm just seeing things.

Apparently (at least so far) he hasn't had the bad diapers, but he does get a low-grade fever, so I ended up staying home from him on Monday for lots of snuggles, which were super necessary. It's so hard to see him in pain when they are on the verge of coming through, so we're hoping we have at least one more coming through early this next month.

How Mama is Doing

It seems the more I feel the need for a break from parenting, the clingier my kids get to me, so it's this crazy cycle, and sometimes I just need a seriously deep breath. And a break. But I don't really get much of a break these days, so sometimes I'll take a half day of vacation at work (or even a full day) just so I can have some "me" time. I'm in the thick of the hardest times of this physically demanding stage, and I'm SO very ready for Mark to be finished with harvest and hunting so he can be around more.

I swear I don't try to be super Mom, but getting out of the house in our own yard with all 3 kids seems a lot more exhausting than actually going somewhere these days. I mean, at least then I can strap them in the van and not have to worry about them So...we are away from the house a lot on the weekends, which is tough too. And I think we're all tired of it, but I also know that winters in Minnesota are VERY long, so we're trying to do things outside right now.

I feel like I'm just hanging on by a thread most of the time. And there are most certainly times when I'm cleaning up poopy underpants or cleaning up the fiftieth spill of the week where I say (out loud, nonetheless) that I don't feel like being Mommy anymore, and I want to be somewhere else. I love my kids dearly, but being needed all day and all night long leaves me utterly exhausted. And this month, it has been extremely hard to stay positive.

My eating has been ridiculous this past month with harvest going on coupled with some of the worst sleep patterns I've experienced in my almost five years as a parent. Exasperated eating has made a major comeback, and with my feet being ridiculously sore and having no space inside to do any sort of workout DVDs, I just have given up on making it a focus right now. I'm back up just under my pre-pregnancy weight again, which is a hard pill to swallow when I was about 10lbs lower than I am right now just a few weeks after Ryan was born. BUT...we've mostly made it through harvest, so I'm not getting myself too far down.

I'm having a really difficult time with nursing right now. I don't want to give up on it, but I'm just so weary of not being able to pump enough to make a decent bottle, but nursing Ryan all night long every 2 hours or less (which has been going on since the beginning of JULY), and this Mama needs her sleep. So, after today, I'm going to start giving myself a break and letting him have a bottle of either pumped milk from earlier that day or formula before bed.

It's really bittersweet, but I know I really need it. My mental health is starting to concern me on account of getting such abysmal amounts of sleep. I know I need to make a change with what I can change, and right now, I can change the whole having to support an entire other person's life with my own body part.

I know that with pictures of me smiling and looking fine, it's not something anyone would probably guess as far as me struggling. However, it's definitely something that sleep deprivation brings on, and I start just not being able to think straight, which is just not okay when I'm solely responsible for three little boys during harvest. Thankfully, I'm still more or less just talking everything out with Mark and trying to figure out what changes I can make to take the load off my shoulders, and that seems to be all I need to keep on going without a mental breakdown. But quite honestly, adding any more stress right now could very well topple the house of cards, so I'm trying to give myself a rest and a break. I know my limits, and I've reached them, so it's time for a change.

I've been taking Wednesday afternoons off just to take some time for myself, which has been VERY helpful. I may take even more time off if need be, as I can with work projects and such. But this year, I'm giving myself a break.

How Daddy is Doing

I hate to say it, but most of the time I have no clue right now, with as little as we've seen him the past month. I know he's sick to death of me being so negative most of the time, but he knows that isn't my normal.

I see him much more than the boys see him, as he and I get to still have lunch together most days, but between him being very busy at work and very busy with harvest and then hunting, and now basketball starts up, and NASCAR and football on Sunday and/or Monday afternoons, and well...it's a very busy time of year for him. He doesn't take much time for himself the rest of the year, so I try not to complain much when he's gone a lot in October and November.

As I said at the top of this post, we miss him a LOT this time of year. He has been busy hauling loads of beans or corn to the elevator, so we've been trying to make it out to the field for the boys to ride along with him as much as possible this month. The first half of the month, we did that a LOT, but after a while, we got bored of it, so we found other things to keep us busy.

The boys LOVE going to visit Daddy and Grandpa at the farm, so that has been a treat this year. Most of the time, though, with Ryan being so little, we just hang out in the field either in the van or wandering around. Next year he'll get that first tractor and combine ride for sure ;)

One thing is for sure: The farm is really where Mark just lights up. It really is fun to see him in his element, but whoa doggies are we ever ready for this busy season to pass! Mark is a fantastic Daddy when he's around, but man is it hard when he's not around to help keep these busy boys in check at home!

How Big Brothers are Doing

The boys are SO full of energy right now, and it's leaves me completely wiped out most days. Most days I have to wonder if our daycare provider pumps them full of Mountain Dew or something before sending them home, but I think it's just a typical 3 and 4 year old boy energy, which...oh man.

Both boys just ADORE Ryan, although we are on constant alert whenever Ryan is anywhere near them. Both of them just flip out when I snatch Ryan out of their arms when they're trying to carry him all over the house. I feel like I need a little cage to stick him in so they can't get at him sometimes. Even the crib is fair game for these guys.

It's really fun to begin to see all three of the boys interacting more together, and I just melt seeing the big kids encouraging Ryan so much. They're not always super nice to each other, but I know they love each other in spite of it.

We're approaching the winter season pretty fearful, to be honest. Fresh air seems to be about the only thing that really knocks the boys out at bedtime, so when it gets so cold here that they can't really be outside much, I'm hoping we can keep them busy!